Memory Map

[video script]

I have a box, I use it to visualize the experience of living in an unhomely world.

The box, the stage of home, mother, and shelter, it bridges past and present. It’s where the sphere of life is linked through an in-between temporality, it’s where I don’t feel the weight of my breath and body. Do I still exist? I don’t know what you can call it. The bell rings, in fact, it never stops. I’m exhausted with confusion, never able to tell the time. Every time I count down to 3, the clock would go backwards again. Without a beginning or an end, I flow in absolute freedom, oblivion.

Following direction signs, I can go wherever I want, motionless pedestrians as stiff as concrete walls, iron cars. I’ve lost my contact with the world.

I’ve found a great interest in observing shadows, inside the box, the shadow is an illusion. Realizing this truth makes me extremely lonely.

You see, in the world of 3D, shadows put everything in motion. It’s the evidence of ephemera, evidence of time. As I said, there’s no such thing as time here. “No time” is a negative fact. Seeing things that are not there is useful, it is a crucial part of being able to see. I see things in shadows, I try to trust them. The absence of color and its silence carries all my feelings. I cast my imagination into the shadows but what I really want to know is how I am cast into the world.

At times, I think I’ll know myself in time. all I know in fact is a sequence of fixations in the spaces of my stability, my wish to suspend the past. In its countless alveoli, space contains compressed time.

That is what the box is for.

[字幕]

我有一个盒子，把自己放进去就能看到另一个世界。 没有呼吸和身体，我不知道这还叫不叫存在。 在这个盒子里的钟声从未停止，现在是几点，我也摸不着头脑。 每次倒数到三，钟上的指针就会逆行， 没有了时间，我有无限的自由。 顺着指示的方向，我想去哪里就去哪里，静止的行人就像水泥的墙、铜铁的车子。。。我和世界失去了联系。

我开始对影子产生极大的兴趣，盒子里的光影其实是一种幻觉，这也是让我寂寞的罪魁祸首。 你明白吗影子是物的动态形式，它是时间的可视化，我说过这里没有时间。 我在影子中投射幻想，单调的特质更能承载我的情绪，也许我想要的只是找到我存在的痕迹。我以为能从时空中认识自己，然而那只是安逸的存放在和盒子里的一系列定格。